Image Source: http://www.wearitoutloud.org
As I get older, I find I’m less spontaneous than I used to be. Mainly because I’m generally exhausted, but also because I no longer have spontaneous friends who call and propose something fun, last-minute.
So I’m pretty proud that this week I seized on two different opportunities — one was a last-minute dinner at Indique with my friend Betsy, who texted me on her bus ride home, proposing dinner. Awesome. The other was last night… as I was leaving yoga at 7pm my friend Seth texted. I called him and we agreed to meet up an hour later for dinner at my place. Double awesome.
Since I’d just exited yoga, it was a bit of a whirlwind — I walked to Homemade Pizza to pick up a pizza and salad, getting home all of 20 minutes before Seth and Johnny were slated to arrive. I did a quick clean-up of my place, tossed a bottle of bubbles in the fridge, then changed clothes and put on a touch of make-up so I wouldn’t frighten them.
Up until this point, you’re probably pretty impressed with my ability to host on a moment’s notice. I know I was. Where I think I need some help is what to do when my guests arrive. Because while we had a great time catching up, I’m going to guess there are a few parts of the evening that the boys would rather not repeat.
Like when I decided it was absolutely appropriate to get out my laptop and use visual aids during our discussion of the Royal Wedding. Among the things we googled so I could illustrate my points:
- Cross-eyed flower girl (Still burning in hell for this — though apparently I’m not the only one because I’ve had over two dozen people find my blog in the last 24 hours using that search string)
- James Middleton (Interestingly, the page we landed on indicated that there was a more popular search string – “James Middleton gay.” And also surprising: in all the images of him online, he looks utterly dorky, not at all the hottie that appeared for the reading yesterday.
- Ugly hats (Which, as expected, helped us find a picture of the Wicked Step Sisters – Beatrice & Eugenie – which prompted Seth to commet, “That one could eat an apple through a fence. And she’s tan? Because England is known for its sun?”)
So maybe you’re thinking this isn’t a bad thing to have done during dinner, pulling out some visual references for our critique of the Royal Wedding. And you might not think it was horrible that I surfed over the YouTube and made them watch the old Sarah Silverman/Jimmy Kimmel video of “I’m F*ckin Matt Damon” and its response, “I’m F*cking Ben Affleck.”
Well, if you don’t yet think I was a bad hostess, let me assure you I was. I mean, who invites people over then makes them watch YouTube videos of a) someone squeezing a gigantic boil, and b) someone removing a botfly larva from her scalp? Seriously, I did this.
Reflecting on last night, I can’t erase the image of Seth recoiling in horror while Johnny commented, “It’s like he’s peeing puss out his neck!”
Sigh. Definitely not a chapter in the “How to Make Friends and Influence People” book.
Next time, I think I’ll just stick to the Honey Badger video.
Filed under: Being an Idiot, Friends & Life
